1. |
The Shame Of Love
04:48
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falling upstairs
cursing my shoes
but it’s my instincts that are shot
I got a clumsy heart
it gets confused
wake up don’t know who you are
the shame of love
holding me again
the shame of love
nothing ever ends
I head toward the storm
my bad directions
I crash another new car
you gather me up
feel where I’m broken
put pressure on those parts
-chorus-
don’t tell me it’s brave
to show you the way
to total abjection
to open up
at the weakest spot
to abuses of affection
-chorus-
I suffer from the shame of love
holding me again
I’m living with the shame of love
nothing ever ends
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2. |
Gorgon
03:47
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honey I’m the one who sang the song about wanting to vanish into the air
yeah I wanna go where no one knows me or my name or body and won’t claim me like property
I never said I was an angel
I never said I ever cared
I never promised anyone anything
no enchanted fairytales
you must have interpreted it wrong
because I don’t sing love songs
fingers everywhere
your snakes in my hair
violated my head
you were sullen and blue
because I refused to die for you
-chorus-
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3. |
Nightmary
02:54
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I’m living in a nightmare and I can’t wake up
the whole world is controlled by fascist blood-sucking thugs
I’m living in a nightmare and I can’t wake up
I lost another friend to Jesus
she had nothing to believe in but the myth of redemption
(we’re all damned, in her defense)
I have to punch myself in the face to get myself out of bed
hour after hour bombarded by lies
it’s a desecration of your mind
their deep wells of greed have no bottoms
they hoard resources and no one stops them
I’m living in a waking nightmare
made to pay into a system that they steal from
laws they’ve written don’t apply to them
moral authorities are defiling children
with no mercy and no conscience
I’m living in a nightmare
I’m living in a nightmare
I’m living in a nightmare and I can’t wake up
I’m living in a nightmare and I can’t wake up
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4. |
Had A Dream
02:56
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I had a dream last night
and in my dream I had a knife
I stuck the knife into your neck
then I pulled it out and I stabbed you again
you staggered, screaming
bloody and unbelieving
that anyone would ever punish you
for all of the traitorous things that you do
it was a very American dream
then it was a different scene
you were alive in the beginning
I was four horses
as you were quartered
then I was a machine
I was a rotating blade
coming to saw you in half
as you lay strapped down on a table on your back
through the bone
and out the other side
that was my dream last night
it was a very American dream
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5. |
Splinter
02:58
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my door has never been so open
you can take whatever isn’t broken
I’ll be driving around in circles
just trying to get some traction
I’m trying to leave
there isn’t anything here for me
with an ear to the tracks
all I hear is a ringing on a high b-flat
I’m ready to finally pop this bubble
get myself in some kind of trouble
I dream mostly of justice
I got a plan B
I plan on winning the lottery
move to the ocean
away from all the monetization of every little thing
don’t wanna work
don’t wanna play
I wanna blow the surviving son away
don’t touch the innocent girls
let her hold on to what is hers
I failed to compromise
I took a powder
I left the scene
now I’ve got nothing to lose
all I possess is my sexy personality
and still I wonder
how anyone could believe in anybody
how could you love me
I stopped asking
when you stopped answering
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6. |
Suck It Up
03:10
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I got assets
I got prospects
paid all my debts
but I get no credit
I gotta suck it up
we creatives
we always find a way
when a door closes
we just open a vein
any idiot can try his luck and make a pitch
but it has to be a traditional narrative
you gotta fit the mold
or the qualifying ratios are automatically programmed to tell you “no”
I gotta suck it up
can’t I meet you
or call you on the phone
won’t you talk to me
you’re so remote
don’t need a fur coat
won’t splurge on surgery
just want a little space
but it just seems so out of reach
I’m climbing off my horse
don’t make me get down on my knees
just tell the algorithm that I can prove that I am me
I gotta suck it up
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7. |
Chunks
03:05
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why can’t you be nice
why are you so rude
one of these days you’re gonna push somebody over the line
someone’s gonna kick you in the head
someone’s gonna choke you out
someone’s gonna smash your teeth
someone’s gonna burn down your house
-chorus-
someone’s gonna take your hand
and break every finger
shove a tube sock in your mouth
to stop the sound from coming out
someone’s gonna take a whip
to your soft pink back
scar you a hundred times
and then finish with a baseball bat
someone’s gonna chop you up
into chunks
put you into garbage bags
and take you to the dump
why can’t you be nice (someone’s gonna chop you up)
why are you so rude (into chunks)
one of these days you’re gonna push somebody (put them into garbage bags)
over the line (and take you to the dump)
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8. |
Mouthful Of Blood
03:07
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if I say what I want to say
it might just get me killed
there’s no freedom in expression
and I don’t think I will let you in on my thoughts
I bite my tongue
my mouth’s full of blood
pressure from every side
general consensus
they decide who is crucified
for having wrong opinions
hold on to what you’ve got
and smile for every camera
-chorus-
feelings want out
I pray they make no sound
-chorus-
bite my tongue
bite my tongue
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9. |
Dead Weight
03:33
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why do you love me
you must be mad
why do you love me
you must be crazy
all I ever wanted was to revel in the loneliness
find a private place to sit and tear off my skin in peace
why do you love me
you must be daft
why do you want me
has your brain been damaged
you take my hand
can’t you feel it’s dead weight
are you blinded by a stereotype
that history perpetuates
take my hand
can’t you feel its dead weight
I am just a tool for you to use
to self-obliterate
in the future it comes undone
all your desires are delusions
I am nothing to anyone
never will be and never was
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10. |
Torture
03:08
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how long is this gonna take
don’t lie
don’t sugarcoat it
just give it to me straight
you keep saying one more minute but it’s been at least eight
how long am I supposed to wait
is it my pathology or is just my fate
you give me this gift and now you make me pay
wrest your soul
out of control
how much longer now
you’re gonna make me late
this service is free to use
but not to operate
it all goes smoothly until it gets to the end
strung along
I hit the wall
it’s technical
wrest your soul
out of control
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Juliana Hatfield Boston, Massachusetts
singer/guitarist/songwriter; co-founder of Blake Babies, Juliana Hatfield Three, Some Girls; ½ of Minor Alps, ½ of the I Don't Cares; quasi Lemonhead
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